I wanted to quickly address something that has recently come up, and I realize that I left a lot of people hanging, with no real explanation as to what happened or why I no longer vlog. When I started this blog, most of you came over from my shameless self plugs on Youtube. I actually started vlogging on Youtube before I started blogging here, and I know I would have never built the small, but mostly faithful following I see here if it wasn’t for my Youtube channel.
A little while ago I made the decision to stop making youtube videos and actually deleted my whole channel. I still have a profile associated with one of my email accounts so I can watch and keep up with those I subscribe to. I really love watching you all so much, but vlogging just didn’t feel right to me anymore.
In retrospect I did delete my channel too quickly, I wish I had of slept on it for a day or two before walking away completely from it. It has always been a positive for me, in the sense that I was never sent negative feedback, or had any kind of “run ins” with bullies of any kind. I enjoyed interacting with everyone and developed a deep sense of community, which for someone who feels often very isolated in real life was a big plus.
With all these great, warm, fluffy feelings, why stop it, you might ask. Well simply put, I was insecure. I didn’t feel like the content or quality of my videos were up to par, I didn’t think anyone would care, or even notice that my channel was gone. I felt very vulnerable putting myself out there in video format, and although I enjoyed so many aspects of it, I worried more about what others (in real life) might think should they find my channel than what I was getting out of it.
In the future I may decide to start a new channel. It is something that would take a lot of thought, planning and consideration. I love the idea of sharing my experiences as a new, first time mother but I don’t want to enter into it lightly, like I did before I was ever expecting Baby.
I will absolutely be sharing all I can here on this blog about Baby Bumpkin, the last little bit of my pregnancy, and my labour/birth expectations, worries, anxieties, and the experience. I also want to update about Baby Bumpkin once he’s here as well! Basically anything I would be expected to vlog… I’ll blog! I need to thank you all so much for your love, support, messages, comments, they have really meant so much to me!
I hope you understand, and I hope that I can turn this blog into a place you keep coming back to for updates on our family. As well as for your daily dose of my witty and charming sense of humour!
Until next time!